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| Kenley and Ven sharing a private moment. (Also pictured, Fabio) |
Due to overwhelming and relentless peer pressure—mostlyfrom members of my immediate family—I’ve decided to dip my big toe back intothe recap pool this season.
Before I recap last night’s eppy, a few general observationsfrom the first 2 shows.
Is there an official Project Runway haircut for guys now?Like some sort of reality TV military, except instead of giving you a buzzcut,they shave the sides of your head and give you a hipster pompadour, ironicbeard optional?
It’s odd. But it only adds to the hilarious sense that Gunnar andChristopher—the Betty White and Bea Arthur of this season’s competition—aredoppelgangers of each other. (Should those two just do it already, or what?)
Stray thoughts on some other contestants:
Kooan Kosuke seems less like a Project Runway contestant andmore like one of those oddballs who auditions for American Idol and becomes aYouTube phenomenon for a few weeks.
The minute I laid eyes on Dmitry Sholokhov I thought:Somewhere, there’s a Russian Olympic ice dance team missing its ice master.Okay, close enough. The guy’s a former ballroom dancer. And straight out ofcentral casting.
I love that Ven Budhu’s name is Ven Budhu because he lookslike Buddha. But I was shocked that he’s only 28. I would’ve guessed 2,345 atleast. (Also, he’s obviously a talented designer—Lord knows, he’ll be the firstto tell you—but he has that kind of tasteful, safe design aesthetic thatMichael Kors and Nina Garcia always go for. Yawn.)(Conversely, Buffi’s loud, poppy, Harajuku girl style stuffis exactly what the judges hate. Her time on this show is clearly limited. Ashame, cause I love that crazy, leopard spotted beotch.)
As for Andrea Katz: She must have some photos of the ProjectRunway staff key party or somethin’. How else to explain how her button candyapron didn’t land her in the bottom 3? (Has anyone else ever designed an apronfor Project Runway? What’s next? A dish towel?)
Oh Sonjia is my early favorite, just cause I love her bluehair and funky fresh style.
Okay, onto last night’s show:God, there was almost something comforting when Tim Gunnannounced, “The color of the Lexus SM vehicle you’re assigned to must beincorporated into your design.”Don’t ever change, Project Runway. Don’t ever change.
So this week, the designers were paired up to make a gownfor the Emmys.
This didn’t sit well with the Eastern European contingent.
“I don’t like to work with anyone. Who does?” said Elena.
“When it comes to my work I’m a little bit of a controlfreak. But who isn’t?” said Dmitry.
It’s this kind of attitude that lost the Russians theall-around girl’s gymnastics medal at the Olympics, people.
The whole gown thing also didn’t sit well with Raul because,in case you hadn’t heard the first 45 times he told us, he designs menswear. (Withhis ouster this week, a short-lived “I design menswear” drinking game has goneby the wayside.)
In a cool twist, they were designing for former ProjectRunway all-stars. Nice one.
Here were the teams:
Buffi and Elena Designing for: Laura
Christopher and AndreaDesigning for: Anya
Raul and Alicia Designing for: Mila
Gunnar and KooanDesigning for Irina (LOLOLOLOL)
Melissa and DmitryDesigning for April
Sonjia and NathanDesigning for Valerie
Ven and FabioDesigning for Kenley
Gunnar saw this challenge for what it was: A big fat trap. “The hardest person to impress in fashion is a fuckingfashion designer,” he noted, accurately.
That being said, probably the most disappointing thing aboutlast night’s show was the fact that Kenley liked her dress. Because hell hathno fury like a pissed off Kenley. Damn Ven and all his annoying. . .talent.
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| It must be exhausting to be Kenley |
I also expected Irina to be more of a nightmare, but exceptfor one brief moment when she almost brought Kooan to tears, she was prettymellow. (Didn’t you get the sense though that she “helped” with the design? Oneminute that dress had a puckered butt line. The next minute it had a cleverstrip of flowy fabric in the back. I call shenanigans). (Also, cute get-up Gunnar. Did you recently take in a screening of Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom, by any chance?)
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| "I fixed this shit"-Irina |
“For some reason I feel sad not happy,” Kooan said at onepoint. “I work well when I’m happy.” (If this whole Project Runway thingdoesn’t pan out, Kooan should host one of those weekend TV shows that workreally well both for small children and for adults on acid.)
It was also funny to see the likes of Anya and Mila inhorrible dresses. They’re both so impeccable in their own personal styles andto see Mila galumphing down the runway in Raul and Alicia’s monstrosity, herbitchface set to stun, and boho chic goddess Anya, looking like a cocktailwaitress at the HoJo lounge in 1976, well it was hard to take.
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| "I Hate My Life" |
Speaking of Anya. . .yup: Christopher and Andrea blew it. I definitely love Christopher, I think he’s talented andadorbs, but I also see him as super passive aggressive. Have you noticed that nothing is EVER his fault? He’s always the one rolling his eyes and reacting tosassy Gunnar—while shooting him smoldering glares of lust-filled hatred—and thisweek, he “respected” Andrea too much to tell her to move her ass. Uh huh.Yes Christopher, sitting and seething with resentment isalways the most productive way to get things done. (And led to the inevitablebattle royale on the runway—with tears, recriminations, pointed fingers, hurtfeelings, the works.)
And oh God, could there be two less compatible people thanBuffi and Elena? (Make that three lesscompatible people than Buffi, Elena, and Laura Bennett?)
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| Friends for Life!!! |
Just looking at Elena, with her terrifying, humorless Soviet work ethic, makesme tense. Also, what’s up with her hair? She literally looks like adifferent (nicer) person when she has bangs. The bangs are for the playfulhappy side of Elena. The severe pulled back style is for the crazed,prison-warden-at-a-gulag Elena. #TeamBangs
Runway time. And the guest is Krysten Ritter from Don’tTrust the B. . .oh, who am I trying to kid, she was Jesse’s crackheadgirlfriend in Breaking Bad!!! Squee!!!
Not one of the dresses is a complete success, if you ask me.I do like Kenley’s dress, but it’s too short for the Emmys.
I actually thought Buffi and Elena pulled it off withLaura’s dress. Who woulda thunk?
Totally thought Dmitry and Melissa were going to be in thetop with that flowy Grecian goddess number. (Not my bag, but theconstruction was solid.)
So miraculously, Gunnar and Kooan are in the Top 2 (seriouslysaved by that choker—sorry, that Lord & Taylor accessory wall choker—if you ask me) along with Fabio and Ven. It was pretty amazing how deftly Ven combined his aestheticwith Kenley’s. As for Fabio, no one really knows what his aesthetic is. Probably a bad sign.
I truly think Fabio and Ven won because nothing better camedown the runway. Not the most auspicious of showings.
Oh yeah, Raul got sent home, where he’ll open up a storecalled Just Menswear.
Next week: Shit hits the motherfreakin' fan, people!
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