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| The sewing machine next to Christopher is the best place to be!!! |
It’s too bad that Raul wasn’t goodat this whole “designin’” thing because he served a lot of functions.
First of all, there was hiswhite-hot hatred of Elena, always good for a few laughs.
Then there was the short-lived, non-starter “Ido menswear” drinking game. (As the sole judge, officiator, and creator of thisgame, I hereby decree that last night’s “I’m good at making pants” was worthyof a drink—at least in my house it was.)
But his greatest function? He hada crush on Christopher.
When you think of it, there havebeen very few hook-ups, crushes, and love triangles on Project Runway. Iremember that the adorable Little Lord Fauntleroy-like Daniel and Wesley (ofSeason 5?) became an item. I always “shipped” Andre and Santino, but I don’tthink anything actually happened there. Even this season’s promisinglust-filled hate glares between Christopher and Gunnar seems to have receded. Iguess they’re all so exhausted they barely have time to eat and sleep, letalone get busy.
But when it was time to pick teamsfor the Marie Claire Work challenge, Christopher got to pick third and he,reasonably enough, picked Fabio.
And Raul was hurt and shocked.Because la-la-la, he CAN’T HEAR YOU, Christopher loves him back. And also, la-la-la,HE CAN’T HEAR YOU, Raul’s awesome at desigin’ stuff.
Two other intriguing highlightsfrom the team choices.
Why on earth did Sonjia pickElena? Has she met her? I mean, I guess Elena has some skillz, but she’s also themost toxic human being in the studio (andfan favorite!!). Weird.“I’d rather eat dirt than workwith Elena,” said Gunnar. He always has the mot juste.
Also, did anyone catch thatglorious moment when Nathan chose Ven and Ven said, and I quote: “Good choice.”Dude. Kanye West called. He wants his ego back.
Anyway, the cleverly named Team 5 and Team 6 (they've just stopped trying at this point) went like this:Team 5 is Christopher, Gunnar, Ven, Nathan, and Fabio
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| a.k.a The Chiffonies |
Team 6 is Alicia, Dmitry, Elena, Melissa, Raul, and Sonjia
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| Surprisingly high functioning hot messes |
Back at the studio, the saddestthing ever happens. They find Kooan’s giant, whimsical comb. Apparently, in his haste to leave the show, hehas left his beloved comb behind. “He’s probably going insanelooking for this,” says Chris, sympathetically.A moment of silence for Kooan's giant whimsical comb.
So, as is often the case with theseteam challenges, there’s a bit of misdirection. Except for Gunnar sulking aboutfabric choices, Team 5 seems to getting along famously. So they’re a lock towin, right?
Meanwhile, Team 6 is a disastersite. First, they forget a bag of woolat Mood.Then, Elena is bossing everyonearound in that drill sergeant/Gordon Ramsay/Ukrainian dominatrix way of hers.Then Raul decides that he’s soawesome, he should do his own thing. And his thing is ruffles, bitches!“Raul doesn’t have a team workethic,” says Elena. I agree. (*Runs off to vote for her for Fan Favorite*)(JK).
So Team 6 is destined to lose, right? (Hmmm.)
I kinda love that Team 6 dubbedTeam 5 “The Chiffonies”—because it sounds like an fabulous Motown all-girl groupand also underscores a certain unspoken something about fashion—that men don’talways know what women actually want to wear. For example, the last time I woresilk chiffon to work was in 20NEVER.
(That being said, Elena singingthe “Silk Chiffonie” song in Christopher’s face was just flat-out rude.)
“Everybody hates Elena,” saysDmitry. “Even if they say they like her, they hate her.”Maybe my new couple toship is Dmelena! (Elenitry?) You can’t hate someone that much without a littlelust creeping in.
Actually, this was the episode Ikinda fell in love with Dmitry, because later he said this:
“I think Ven is a one-way monkey.” Then he kind of screwed up his face andcorrected himself: “I mean, one trick pony.”One Way Monkey! Best band nameever—or greatest band name ever?
At the photo shoot, Elena makes itclear: She does NOT work with props. (Somewhat surprising for a dominatrix.)And because Elena likes cleanlines and doesn’t like models to sit in chairs looking like they are takinghuge dumps, Team 6 does not use props.
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| Tension neck aches for everyone! |
Runway time. Joanna Coles is the guest judge.She’s always good for at least oneDismisses-Your-Entire-Design-Aesthetic-and-Possibly-Your-Entire-Existence ™with one withering comment moment, so bring it on.
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| Elena is actually an amateur |
Problem is, everything is prettynice. Even Gunnar’s outfit with thedroopy boobs (“Two puppies wrestling in a sack” says Coles) isn’t really thatbad. I did hate the enormous GraceJones shoulders on Elena’s jacket. And Raul’s ruffles confirmed that I onlylike ruffles on potato chips.Loved Melissa’s dress,Christopher’s whole outfit, Sonjia’s blue pencil skirt...
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| werq! |
And it’s an unprecedented . . .TIE!
The judges want to see the teamsone by one.
First Team 5:
“Who was the weakest of yourgroup?” Heidi asks Fabio.“I will tell you the strongest:Ven,” Fabio says. This confused Heidi (and me): “Heshould go home because he’s the strongest?”
No, Fabio tries to explain that he wasn’t goingto fall into Heidi’s “who’s the weakest of the bunch” negativity trap, so he picked the strongest link.So Heidi moved down the line.Who was the weakest, Ven?
Gunnar. Who was the weakest, Christopher?
Gunnar. Who was the weakest, Nathan?Gunnar. Now was that really THAT hard?
Now Team 6 comes on stage.
Who’s the weakest? Heidi asks.(She’s really such a little shit-stirrer, isn’t she?)
“I think Raul should go homebecause he doesn’t even know how to put darts in a shirt. His construction ishorrible. And I think that he should go home.” -ElenaBut who do you think should gohome, Elena?
In the end, Team 6 gets theirlooks in noted fashion magazine (that no one has ever heard of) Marie Claire Works and Melissa wins! Yay!
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| (Also gaining on Elena for Fan Favorite, incidentally) |
And it comes down to Raul andGunnar and Raul is OUT (again).
Somehow, he has decided to blameElena for his downfall. “I hate your ass,” he says to her.Then he turns to the rest of thegang: “Get her the [bleep] out of here. She needs to be out of here.”
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| Keep it classy, Raul |
Looks like Raul is once again aone-way monkey: And this monkey's one way is OUT THE DOOR. *Holds up hand for imaginary high fives from all of you*
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