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| Kooan, 2 minutes after he quit the show |
Do you ever go to a dinner partyand the hostess comes out and says, “Who wants a second piece of pie?” andeveryone looks at each other, because taking a second piece of pie would sortof be piggish, but then one person raises their hand and gamely says, “I do!”and then suddenly everyone else is like, “What the hell. You only live once!”and the next thing you know, everybody has a second piece of pie?
Such it was last night on ProjectRunway. It was like once Andrea led the way, made it acceptable, within the realmof possibility to exit the show, thefloodgates opened. Next Kooan decided to leave and then Nathan admitted hewanted to leave and I began to wonder if by the end of this little group convo,it was just going to be Tim, Christopher and Ven standing in a small circle,shrugging at each other.
At first, of course, everyone hadto process the news of Andrea’s nocturnal departure—in the most judgmentalway possible.
“I just don’t think it’s right toquit like that” – Buffi“It was a poor example,especially since she’s a teacher” – Ven“It’s kind of lame.” – Andrea“She took the coward’s way out” –Gunnar. “How could she do this to me?” – Christopher
Okay, so Christopher didn’tactually say that, but he basically did. Earlier in the show he admitted thathe had pushed Andrea in front of a bus (a reality TV first? Many a contestanthas claimed to be the pushee, but how many have admitted they were the pusher?)Then he felt guilty and mopey andmournful about the whole thing—even more mopey and mournful than usual, whichis saying a lot about Christopher, whose default state is “AdorableMelancholia.”“It’s like a joke is being playedon me,” Christopher said (mournfully). Yes, I’m sure that was Andrea’s intent.
Anyway, this was all theencouragement Kooan needed. You know those velvet paintings of crying clowns?Kooan is like that—except he’s an Asian guy with an Afro. But basically, hewants to be a laughing clown, not a crying clown, so he was all, “Peace out.”
(What was weird was how calm and resolute—dare I even say mature?—he was aboutthe whole decision. Everyone else is crying and gnashing their teeth and Kooanis like, “My decision is final. Be at peace, my friends.” And then, just as heleft, as if the weight of the whole series had been spontaneously lifted offhis shoulders, he let out a chirpy, gleeful “Make it Work!” and he scamperedoff to Magic SuperFun Rainbow Land, or wherever the hell it is that he lives.)
Then Nathan also wants to leave.And this was when I thought the garment that is Project Runway was really goingto unravel—leaving Tim Gunn and Christopher and Ven holding one long thread.
“Are the rest of you read to moveforward and make it work?” Tim said, doing his version of a locker room peptalk. “Uh, yeah,” came the response.
(I don’t know about you guys, butI was ready to run through a wall after that!)
Cooler heads did eventuallyprevail and the mass exodus was avoided.Nathan stayed (and I’m glad because,although I can’t remember a single thing he’s designed, I love his personalstyle) and Raul came back.
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| Cute get-up |
“I’m back bitches,” Raul said.(Because that is the kind of sassy thing you must say when you’re on a realityTV fashion show. )“You’re a lucky ho,” saidChristopher. (Ibid)
The challenge this week is tocreate a look for a woman on the go that is stylish and fashionable andcomfortable.
“Think about wrinkles. And thefact that you don’t want them,” said Tim. (He really is the Yoda of fashionisn’t he?)
So not too much drama in thestudio:Ven, for some reason, has a majorhate-on for Raul, which I don’t completely get. It’s not like Raul is any kindof threat to him.Christopher tried to help Buffi by suggesting that she take her useless hot pink toga/tunic thingy and make ita useless black toga/tunic thingy. Then he was mopey, mournful and adorablymelancholic when she was offended by his suggestion.
On the runway, Heidi Klum cameout dressed as Wilma Flintstone for reasons unclear.
Then she introduced the judges:MK, Nina, Hayden Panettiere and Rachel Roy.This made me laugh becauseobviously Hayden doesn’t have the fashion chops to be a judge on her own.(Rachel Roy was the equivalent of the seasoned waiter tagteaming it with the “trainee"at a diner.)
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| "This is how judges sit, Hayden" |
The strangest thing that happenedon the runway was I found out that MK and Nina like Fabio’s personal style. Ilook at Fabio and think to myself, “I see you underneath all those layers ofcrap, Fabio. Somewhere, buried beneath that long beard and those do-rags anddashikis and hipster Tzitzis is a beautiful man. Groom thyself. ” And MichaelKors thinks he has fabulous style? (Whose teams are you on, MK? You disappointme.)
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| Shave, remove 4 accessories and we can talk |
(Another aside: How on earthis effin’ #TeamElena winning the fan vote on Twitter? I strongly doubt thatmembers of Elena’s immediate family actually like her.)
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| ??? |
So the Top 3 were Christopher,Dmitry, and my girl Sonjia. And the Bottom 3 were Buffi,Fabio, and Raul.
I was actually glad that Ven, whodid another one of his uber-tasteful, architectural designs, wasn’t in the Top3. Yes, Ven, you are the Michael Phelps of draping. Now do something different,dammit!!!
And Sonjia wins! Sonjia wins! AndHayden Panettiere wants to wear her design and you can see Sonjia thinking,“Should I debase my design by letting her wear it?” (Just kidding. She wasstoked.)
And Buffi is out. Darn it. Iloved me some Buffi and her “an 80s vintage store barfed on me” style.
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| Buffi was slayed |
But I knew they weren’t going tobring Raul back just to jettison him again. (Although really Raul? You thoughtthe blue suede pumps and the hot pink clutch were a good idea to add to youralready hideously cluttered get-up?)
I loved Buffi’s attitude indeparture though:“I’m going to be more crazy andtacky and glittery and colorful than ever.”
Or, in other words: Take yourgood taste and shove it, Project Runway!
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